Small and large paperclips as compared to average

Complicating variable (to be thrown out): Mr. Brain.   As in, "I have largely limited the discussion here to Lyme arthritis, the simplest case because the end point (no more arthritis) is so clear, and one does not have to introduce complicating variables such as the blood-brain barrier." --- Stephen Malawista, Yale University

See also in the Dictionary of Connecticutisms, GreatCod makes a joke about Steven Malapisa and the End of Life Procedure- "Death by Lethal Erection"

Update to the "Penises Trump Brains-ology" by Yale University: If you are looking for the full text report where Steven Malawista recommended throwing out the brain because it was "a complicating variable," the Rheuma21st.com report is no longer available full text free online. You can find it here, however, but you'll have to be "an irresponsible parent because you go to the library" - a Nancy Martinism - to get it:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=11128048

PENIS 101- Your Yale University Guide to Mr. Brain

Here is the "Short Penis" study referenced by Slate Online magazine: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/...15922413

"Treatment of men complaining of short penis:"

"Every patient was informed that if his flaccid and stretched penis size was 4 cm and 7 cm or more, respectively, it was considered normal."

Small and large paperclips as compared to average-sized penis claims (below).   As you can see, a standard large sized paperclip is 5 cm and a standard small sized paperclip is 3 cm.   Penis-obsession is best treated by informing men that they only have to be 3/8ths inches bigger than a small paperclip to be in the normal range.

According to the Yale Psychiatry Department, no other health matters are important; all life and health matters are penis matters, therefore we shall adjust topics accordingly. (Watch for Corrupticut Penis Matters updates by DCF, DMHAS, Kristine Ragaglia, and Yale.)